As a rule, I generally avoid shows like Teen Mom, My Super Sweet 16 and Dance Moms. I’m not a fan of the drama created around immature children and their equally immature parents, what can I say. And don’t even get me started on Toddlers and Tiaras!
Yesterday, I caught a Dance Moms episode, which led to a Dance Mom marathon. And while I agree it’s compelling television, it’s truly an example of what’s wrong with how we’re raising our kids these days.
My issue with Dance Mom’s (and other shows like it) is the pressure that it puts on the kids as well as the parents involved. Shows like Dance Moms with teachers like Abbie Lee Miller puts a perspective out there that we should be putting our kids futuer successes above everything else.
Photo Credit: MyLifetime.com
She believes we should develop the talents of our children at the cost of the well being of our family, our professional lives and our own interests.
Call me selfish, but I don’t think that is a healthy way for a family to live their life. Additionally, when we teach our children that all should be sacrificed for their “extraordinary talent” we are developing a belief that the world revolves around them and that is wrong on so many levels. It not only nurtures a narcissistic way of life, but it stunts the growth of empathy, balance and the development of a healthy, well-rounded self-image.
I was more than disturbed when I saw one of the young girls being interviewed talking about how her “rival” was so-and-so.
Who has a “rival” at nine. years. old? You can bet that idea didn’t come from her own adorable little head.
What I see on these television shows and in our communities is that the pursuit of a child prodigy is being done at the expense of all involved. We are putting undue pressure on our children and on parents – for what?
Money?
Fame?
Power?
We are saying with shows like Dance Moms that if our children are not excelling at something, they are not a success. We are saying that if our children are not winning trophies and awards we are failures as parents.
I’m not a fan of that way of living.
What I am a fan of is naturally developing the talents of our young children. I am a fan of allowing my children to try multiple creative or athletic outlets so they can figure out what they enjoy doing. I’m not looking to live vicariously through them and to find validity in my own life through them.
I am a fan of choosing an extra-curricular schedule that doesn’t inhibit my child from having a solid education and allows for some down time as a family. I am in favor of balancing the lives and interests of our family as a whole. I am in favor of letting my children grow up with high expectations, but not to the point of anxiety and depression.
All children are different, and at the risk of being harsh…not all of our children will be the next “big thing”.
That is ok.
Say it with me…
It is ok for my child not to be the next “big thing”.
You are not a bad parent if you balance out the life of your family and consider all involved when allowing your child to pursue a creative or athletic venture. Your child will grow up happy and well adjusted when you take the approach of considering your family as a whole instead of one singular member of that family. Your children will grow up knowing that they are passionate about something because they chose it and it came naturally, not because you told them that’s what they had to do.
Age nine isn’t the time to make a life decision for your child. Allow them to grow into who they will be. Allow them to be kids for goodness sakes! They will be better people for it.
But that’s just my two cents.
What are your thoughts on extreme parenting and shows like Dance Moms that highlight that approach to raising kids?
Comments
I think applying too much pressure at such a young age will come back and bite these parents in the butt. Yeah, a rival at 9yrs old is crazy. I am all for child activities, commitment and competition but this kind of early competitiveness is dangerous. These girls will be the mean girls no doubt.
I’m happy someone agrees with my view of the show. The coach even told one mom that if she cared about her job she would miss work, sorry lady in todays economic situation everyone cant miss work and she could pay your expensive tuition. I was so mad at how the teacher ( i use the term loosely) yelled and screamed at the girls and their moms didnt say much. Which tells them I’ll let anyone do anything to you if it makes you a star (Sandusky) sorry that wenta bit far but my gosh did you see that one womens marriage was over because of this
I “tried” to watch this show last season and could not take it. Both my daughters take dance but not to be famous or the next big thing. I took dance my entire life and would have loved to make it a career but there is no way my mother would have paid someone to treat me or her like Abbey does her “clients”.
I think the show is probably exaggerated for the cameras and one can hope these dance moms don’t deal with this type of behavior daily. What is more disturbing is the fact that once again a network has give another crazy, annoying, unprofessional, disrespectful and unkind person their own show.