What I AM and What I AM NOT

In Uncategorized by savvysassymoms90 Comments

I AM an organized, independent, smart, strong, creative, witty woman. I make friends easily, love to socialize and determined to get the most out of life!  I am not afraid to travel, learn and explore new places or people.  In fact CHANGE is the exact thing I crave and it is what runs through my veins! I wake up everyday demanding that my day be different from the day before! I’m not quite sure how I got this way, I do not have ADD, some might say I just bore easily.  If we must label it, then I would like to refer to it as my Creative Intelligence Cycle (CIC).

I am a mother of two adorable toddlers, a wife, a sister and aspiring entrepreneur. My husband and friends will attest first to my many creative business ideas and concepts. I am constantly wanting more and searching for something that will complete me.  Even though my cup of happiness is pretty full…I want it to runneth over!

I AM NOT a lawyer, doctor, or a CEO of a fortune 500 company. I do not have a 4 year college degree, I have never held a corporate position, nor do I wish to work a 9-5.  I am not a very good cook, nor do I bake.  I wouldn’t use the word “domestic” to describe myself. I certainly don’t shy away from challenges or new experiences but I do feel a lack of confidence sometimes. The little things can derail my thinking and my emotions. Sometimes I lose focus and fail to take action.  I do not like close minded people, negativity, arrogance or self pity. I live for the future and not in the past. I am not “just a mom”.

Why am I writing this? Well because I need your help! I am at a crossroads, I am stuck, uncertain, confused, lost, drifting, the list could go on…. But I’m missing one crucial piece of the puzzle, and this is where I need guidance. I want to have a sense of accomplishment outside my family. I want to feel successful and fulfilled. I want to be creative, enjoy flexibility, gain respect and be a part of something bigger than myself. And if I’m being honest…make some money while I’m at it!

Maybe I “want it all” Is it too much?

Therefore my request is simple. I want you to help me. I don’t need inspiration or motivation, I got that in droves. I’m inspired each and every day by so many successful women. Mompreneurs, celebrities, business leaders, women who are out there doing it every day. What I need is a guide, or a mentor perhaps. Someone who can point me in a direction with a plan of action and say “Off you GO”

To those of you reading this I ask for suggestions, comments, resources, ideas and anything else that might help me move forward. You post it…I’ll make sure to check it out.

Thanks for reading, and
thanks for your help!

Andrea Fellman

Meet the Author | savvysassymoms

Andrea is a Mom who hasn't lost her style to motherhood. Andrea loves social media and works on a variety of social media campaigns with brands big and small. Connect with Savvy Sassy Moms on Instagram


  1. I love your desire to have your “cup runneth over” – your enthusiasm is inspiring.

    You’ve given us a snapshot of yourself – a two-dimensional picture of how you see yourself. What you are looking for is a map – a three-dimension, topographical map of what brings you high and low, what’s exciting, what gets you on the highway and what delights you about the scenic path. In order to get to that map, I think you need to start with the question, “what do I love?” Answer that question (and/or the related questions of what gets me going, what excites me, where and from whom do I gain energy) and I think you’ll have the start of your road map.

    Good luck!

  2. Just had lunch last week with two of my closest – stay at home mom friends. Our kids are all now between the ages of 9 and 14. In other words, they don’t really need us anymore. The conversation at lunch revolved around our questioning of our decision to stay home with our kids and how they have turned out (well-adjusted, bright, healthy) versus our counter-parts who went for the big careers and have also turned out well-adjusted, bright, healthy kids. Now we feel an overwhelming need to return to our former selves. The women we once were: creative, ambitious, full of life and possibility. We question our choices. We are intimidated by the women who seemingly had/have it all. Is there a right answer? In addition to these questions, we are all facing mid-life crisis in one way or another. I understand your dilemma. I wish I had the answer for you, for me, for every woman. I don’t. All I can suggest to you, is that you listen long and hard to that inner voice of yours. It will lead you in the right direction. In my experience, it is never wrong.

  3. I have been feeling very much the same thing lately. I get it. I have been so focused on taking care of everyone else, and don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it, but it is time to take care of me too, emotionally, spiritually. I am a total believer in karma and believe very much that I will be exactly where I am supposed to be when I am supposed to be there. And that is about how I have been working out the puzzle with the missing piece. For some of us, we try too hard to find that piece before it is time. If you watch, the pieces fall into place when they are supposed to so that you can get to the next step. Ok, it sounds ridiculous to try to say what I am saying. I like what Heather and Debra both said, because it is true, that you should follow what moves you, moves your soul, makes you want to act, makes you think, feeds your drive. For example, my son was born with a disability that I have learned everything that I can about it. I am passionate about being an advocate for him. At the same time, I cannot peel myself away from my interest in wildlife and animal sciences. It has been an interest of mine as long as I can remember. So I have decided to work as a voluteer a few hours per week at the local animal shelter and at a local wildlife rehab center. It gives me some time away from my family and our issues and gives me the satisfaction of doing something bigger than my own reality. Now, it doesn’t pay in terms of cash right now, but it does put me in touch with a lot of options and new people. Who knows what might come out of it. And I am going to blog about it to share my adventures with everyone. So who knows. Anyway, long long story short…I am saying to fly by the seat of your pants and you will land where you are supposed to, even if it might be a little bumpy getting there.

  4. I have been wondering the same thing lately. Then, I miraculously came across a website which gave me and action plan. I have been on the one week action plan for 2 days and I feel like I made the right decision to buy this product and follow the action plan. I hope this helps…
    one week marketing: an action plan

  5. I would say you might need to look into getting a life coach. I am working with a life coach and I am loving it. She has really helped me to figure out what I want and where I want to go. For a life coach I would recommend Christie Crowder, or Aurelia Williams. Either women are great and can help you find out what is best for you. We can give you all types of suggestions but it really boils down to what is best, comfortable, fulfilling to you (and can make you some money).

  6. Andrea… your first sentence speaks volume… and don’t think you’ll have any problem overcoming this period of uncertainty. After reading this post, I so want to know you more. The first 3 paragraphs describe me to the “T”, well with the exception of I have one child-special needs. Other than that, you and I are so alike. I love your term-CIC because this is how I operate and sometimes think I’m never going to accomplish much if I’m all over the place. You see, although I’m a clutter-free fanatic and like to see things neatly in place and practice punctuality, I live everyday differently and don’t follow a set schedule even as I build my business. Even though I don’t follow a stringent time schedule, I get things done.

    What I do know is this… you are a great writer. You definitely got my attention and make me want to read more. I think others would enjoy more of your writing style. Some of my suggestions are: national/major blogs as a guest writer, columnist for local/state paper or their own blog, or/and contributor for parenting magazines. These are just a few suggestions, but as smart a woman as you are, you probably can fill a whole page of other prospects.

    I look forward to engaging and reading more of your blog.

    Here’s to your new adventure! =)

  7. I swear you must be my sister from another mother!! We are a lot alike in many ways. I too am a dreamer, inventor, etc. I seek fulfillment out of motherhood and wifehood. I need to be me! I have had a lot of ideas and concepts over the years. It bothered me that I had all these ideas and never did anything with them. Some were new inventions that need prototyes, manufacturing, etc. A very scary task for a creative little stay at home mom. So I got a notebook and made list of all my ideas. I then sat on them for months. I took note of what I was drawn to on TV, what books I gravitated towards, magazines, hobbies, etc. What was I truly passionate about? Then I went back to my notebook to see what ideas, careers, etc. fit this profile. What I found is that you have to be passionate about it because it takes a lot to be a Superstar Mom, Wife and Entrepreneur. Once you find your passion. Find your support. A life coach may be just the thing for you. I just won two consultations with one so I will keep you posted. Support can come from friends, or join a local business network (I found one just for woman). If there isn’t a network already, find small women business owners. They can be totally different businesses but it helps to support each other as small biz owners. Use free business resources like http://www.score.org or http://www.sba.gov. They can help get you started and keep you in check. They can help you get started with your business plan. They are GREAT resources. Take it one day at a time and set small steps and to do lists. Reward yourself and celebrate even the smallest miletones! ou are on your way. This blog is a great step in finding your support network!
    I am following you on Twitter and will be cheering you on!!
    I love to brainstorm and help if you need it! I have a solid marketing background which helps a lot. Creativity is my passion. It gets me out of bed every morning…just after my two Tots come jumping on my bed 🙂
    Here’s to great things!

  8. I enjoy your humor, you write your thoughts out clearly and effectively engage your reader – you even figured out how to get people to reply – people love to give advice! You seem to have an abundance of ambition, sound quite fearless, well rounded, very blessed and seem to have very definite ideas about what you want. The only missing piece I can think of might possibly be passion?! You mention you “crave” change but that’s not the same as passion. Maybe if you slow down a bit, take a deep breath and consider what it is most in life that you love to do – that thing you wake up feeling like you HAVE to do – the answer might just be waiting for you. May I just say, you don’t need help – you’re doing just fine, you got me to respond and I rarely reply. Sending good karma your way.
    ps – please excuse any typos – I draw much better then I type!

  9. Love the honesty and willingness to be a sponge! That’s what this crazy journey is about anyway. How luck are we to be woman that are unafraid to search for guidance within our sex! My search a bit more progressed than yours…I’m a single working Mother of 2 impressive young woman, 17 and almost 21! The search for fulfillment outside of motherhood is a quest of many.
    One of the most profound revelations in my life was how impactful my girls were on crafting who I became as a woman.
    You begin motherhood as the “expert” in the ways of this world ready to teach and guide. What I was unprepared for was the depth of what my girls taught me! Self revealing lessons await as a mother…things that change and craft your future. If you slow down and envelope all that is to be had in each stage of your journey as a mom clarity of direction.
    You don’t “want to much”! With the challenges of being a woman of today, there is no such thing! Keep writing and I’ll be reading 🙂

  10. I was at that exact place a few weeks ago. I have a master’s degree, but was really burnt out on that path. I became an Avon Representative. It takes work, but it is fun work, especially if you like girly stuff like makeup, bath bubbles, and clothes! If want to know more, I’d be happy to tell you the truth, not just the insane success stories. The best thing is you can’t get fired because you own your own business! (918) 346-8943 or http://youravon.com/lrenuard

  11. What struck me, Andrea, is that you have the perfect disposition to be a COACH. Just following my intuition here.

    You can get the short cut on doing it right here: Everything You Need To Become
    A “Rich Coach” Is In This Book!

    It does help that I personally know the authors and recommend them highly.


    The Love Linguist

  12. Hi There,

    I wonder if you might benefit from having a coach…they have helped me on my creative journey. Another thing that might help you is to Visual Journal..i’m a freak when it comes to Visual Journaling to find your way in the world. You can e-mail me if you have any questions about it.

    Best of luck to you….your creative spirit is calling you!

    love, Violette

  13. I strongly believe in finding one or many things you are passionate about and then evaluating each and deciding which one you want to pursue.

    I love your writing and believe that whatever you choose, writing should be part of it.

    Having been in the corporate world I am loving the opportunity to spend time with my kids and make an income helping people look and feel their best. It was a perfect fit for me as I like to help people by sharing knowledge and always have.

    I agree that a life coach may be just the answer to get you were you want to be.

    I am sure you will be successful in whatever you choose.


  14. Hope it’s okay for a guy to comment here. I seem to be the only one but this blog and all the wonderful comments really struck a chord with me because this touches on a book I’m writing titled “Life Is A Fork In The Road.”

    No one else can tell you what you should be doing with your life. You are the expert on you. The trick is getting beyond all the logic and analysis which needs to be done so you can finally hear your inner voice. You will know when your choice just feels right at all levels.

    If you take all the comments above together, they provide some of the keys that will help you unlock the door to your future. Great career choices come down to doing what you are passionate about and have a talent for. The passion drives you and the talent insures you can do it well.

    Here are some simple steps that can help you wade through your options and give your inner wisdom the information it needs to guide you.

    1. Passion. What would you do even if you weren’t paid to do it? Make a list of all those things. Sometimes, it isn’t any one thing on the list but the pattern of seeing many things on the list that can open your eyes.

    2. Talent. List all the things you are really, really good at. As a mom, you have to be great at many task. Almost all of them translate into task that can be used to make money. You already have a Phd. in making things work in the real world! It’s important that you choose something you have a lot of talent at. Otherwise you could pick something you love but you might not be very good at it.

    3. What are you bad at or hate doing? Yes, you need to make this list too. No career is perfect. You are going to have to do some things you are not good at and some things you dislike. Make sure those represent less than 20% of all the task and time involved in your career choice. Try to get it down to 10%. Otherwise you are likely to lose motivation over time and not accomplish as much as you wanted to.

    Ultimately, the best choice for you won’t come from your analysis of these list. They start your mental and spiritual juices flowing. The real answer will be worked out behind the scenes in your unconscious (and from above).

    Don’t rush this. Don’t force it. Be patient and wait for a sign, an inner voice or a feeling that suddenly feels right at a very deep level. Confusion, frustration, cloudiness, uncertainty, anxiety and all the rest will just vanish to be replaced by a calm, peaceful, radiant knowing. You will feel it down to the core of your being. Now go for it!

    I am very interested in some of the life experiences of all the women who commented here. I need to collect 1000’s of stories for my book “Life Is A Fork In The Road” and feel many of you may have such stories. My book ask the question: ever followed an inner voice, feeling or sign to make a choice with surprising results? Every do that when you didn’t have all the facts? If you are interested, you can email me at donshapiro@lifeisaforkintheroad.com. I can send you a 2 page write up.

    Hope this helps. If there is any other way I can be of assistance, don’t be shy.

    donshapiro1 on Twitter
    Don Shapiro on Linkedin & Facebook

    PS My wife and I are empty nesters. The kids are 27, 29 and 40. Once the kids all left home, Lia discovered she had a musical gift for songwriting and composing. Since she loves music, this has become her career. It happened because she was open to it and opportunities came to her that allowed her to learn what she needed to know. When she started down this path, she had no idea she would end up writing and performing her own songs. Each opportunity taught her something and built her confidence. From a great mom, she is on her way to becoming a really good electronic singer/composer/producer. http://www.myspace.com/alientribe.

  15. About 3 years ago I was having the same feelings you express. A friend loaned me the book “The Martha Rules” by Martha Stewart. I found it to be very motivating with practical ideas on how to discover something you’re passionate about and turn it into a business. I hope it can help you the way it helped me.

  16. I too am a stay-at-home-mom with 4 little ones keeping me on my toes (1 “princess” and 3 princes). I “accidentally” started my own business and am in the process of trying to get it really going. I have been fortunate to have fallen in with people who have started to help me along. I am constantly on the go yet my brain never sleeps. One idea always seems to lead to another and I never seem to have enough hours in the day to accomplish all I want to do. I truly love my kids, but feel I am neglecting them quite often (like right now). I wish I could find a balance to make it all work without making one thing or the other suffer. Your writing is so refreshing and honest and I am glad I found you. Some of my flaws (which are many) are that while I LOVE/CRAVE being organized it’s the thing that usually falls to the wayside until I finally start to go crazy. I also LOVE to cook and especially bake, but lately don’t have too much time for that. My advice if you are serious is to find something you are passionate about and keep researching it and talking to whoever you can about it. Especially in this day and age of technology there are people everywhere who are willing to help.

  17. I think you said it here: “I AM an organized, independent, smart, strong, creative, witty woman. I make friends easily, love to socialize and determined to get the most out of life! I am not afraid to travel, learn and explore new places or people. In fact CHANGE is the exact thing I crave and it is what runs through my veins! I wake up everyday demanding that my day be different from the day before!”

    Do what you love, the rest comes.

    I am intrigued by this post and the all the positive, amazing supportive answers (minus the spammy ones of course).

    I’m the woman that Debra mentioned in comment #2. My SO and I gave up the family path for our careers and our own ambitions. We travel, we have very little family commitment. And now, I find myself wondering if I missing out on something more. You’re an inspiration to me.

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  20. Have you ever considered volunteering or taking a leadership role in a nonprofit of a subject you’re really passionate about? Helping people always makes me feel more fulfilled.

  21. Andrea,You GREAT at many things…so just fill in the blank and go for “IT”…… whatever “IT” is for you today.All we have really is today ……..You will be GREAT at whatever you choose to do……
    For me……Keeping a journal….helps..I including feelings/thoughts as well as visuals from what I want that I intuitively think will fill me up as a well rounded person.Sometimes I devote an hour to simply “tear” picures from magazines I am ready to recycle & put them in my journal,draw or get ideas for future projects.Things like what I WANT my art studio to look like,fashion ideas,travel places ,color combinations that WOW me,inspirationa thoughts,art events I want to attend,creative eclectic decorating ideas,websites to visit,people doing yoga and staying healthy etc.I do this because ……………………..
    I strongly believe that “THOUGHTS” become “THINGS”……. Hope this helps.
    I am curently an art teacher & do art for arts sake.My passions…..art & young kids(I’ll pass on teenagers).I did art with the kids I babysat for as a teenager.Today I volunteer my love for kids & art once by doing art projects with them.I am looking forward to do my own art whenever I can;as well as getting my new art room ready for teaching the young minds in the public schools….. You have ALL the answers inside of you and they are emerging to explode;as you are reaching out to the universe and are so open for all suggestions!Go for IT.

  22. Oh man, when you find it girl PLEASE let me know! I’m not sure there’s a perfect balance, but I hope I can find mine. I doubt I’ll ever get to be a SAHM, but I hope I can balance work and home 🙂

  23. Well you are a fantastic writer – perhaps you could develop this into perhaps writing a book or freelance magazine articles?

    Happy SITS day!

    LBM xxx

  24. We are very different people but I find fulfillment in volunteering at church. I suggest you find what you are passionate about and go for it.

    First time visitor from SITS.

  25. Well if you look at it from my point of view….all I want is to have children, so being “just a mom” is my dream role in life.

  26. Search everywhere. Investigate everything. You WILL figure it out even if no one had given you suggestions of where to start. There is something innately within each of us that just guides us. We just have to pay attention.

  27. I’m visiting from SITS and after reading the comments that were left a couple of months ago, I’m curious to know where you are now in this journey. I think the people who talked about determining what you love and pursuing that in some way are right. THAT will be your road map.

    I love to read and I love libraries. I’ve been in book clubs since my youngest child was 1 year old. Then I moved and couldn’t find a book club, so I started one. When the youngest was in 1st grade I heard about a part time job in the local library. I was petrified to apply for it. Did I want to complicate my life with a job? I applied anyway. I got the job. It’s 7 years later and I’m now running a book club for the library, writing book reviews and publishing a blog for the library and a personal one as well. I’ve served on two committees in my state to choose book awards for our state – one for teens and currently I’m on the nominating committee for Reading Across Rhode Island. Basically I took a “hobby” and built my life around it. For me it all happened without a plan, but it did happen. Unfortunately, none of this is very lucrative, but I am happy and fulfilled and I feel as though what I do has meaning – at least to me. Good luck!

  28. Great post! I want a mentor, too. I will be checking back to see the tips everyone posts!


  29. I will be honest and say I am not sure I have much to offer. I too have lots of motivation and drive; always looking for a sense of accomplishment. Even putting a blog together makes me feel awesome inside. I am a very spur-of-the-moment kind of a gal. I was having a Scentsy Party, but instead, just became a rep right before the party. It’s that adrenaline that I get thinking how successful I can be and what I can do to make it successful. I am still on that roller coaster, which feels good. Because I now can come up with very creative marketing ideas. Some have worked some haven’t.

    Anyway, not sure this was helpful, but if you want to chat further all you have to do is reach out to me.

    Happy SITS day!

  30. Motivation comes easier than direction. I want to write. I’ve wanted to become a writer for years. I’ve read books in my genre, books on craft on how to write. I just started this book, which is an oldie, “Writing Down the Bones,” by Natalie Goldberg. Basically, if you want to become a writer you have to write. The more you write, the more practice you get. Athletes practice everyday, why wouldn’t a writer practice.

    So my advice would be to do what you want to do and the rest will fall into place. Sometimes too much research stops you from moving forward.

    Hope this makes sense. 🙂

  31. What you need is a goal. Do some soul-searching, some praying and find out what it is that you feel you’re missing. Do you want to make hats or go to cooking school (sorry, I just saw Julie & Julia)? Do you want to give piano lessons or learn to scrapbook? Do you want to run a marathon or just lose 5 pounds?
    And then set goals. Small goals followed by larger goals. You can do it. You’re a mom.

  32. Coming over from SITS. I don’t have any ideas for you other than a writer. Most bloggers LOVE to write. Why not publish a book?

  33. Happy SITS Day!

    I have acquired a couple of part-time, WAHM gigs, along with my blog, and I feel like these things provide enough balance and fulfillment to my full-time job as Mom. I didn’t realize how much I was missing the accomplished feeling that comes with paid work until I found my way back to it.

    Good luck!

  34. I know just how you feel! I’m starting grad school next week and I am so excited!

    It took me forever to figure out what it was I wanted to do. I just did things the other way around. Family first, career second. So here I am, at 34, embarking on my new career. Yikes!

  35. You are obviously doing very well at anything that comes your way. Weird that strangers sometimes give us the best insight to our lives. Know that it is ok to let your passion run in and out…that’s what keep things interesting!

  36. It’s really a great post. I think like everyone is saying, you have to find your passion or else why do it?? I really believe that everyone is called to do something, even if it’s totally different from what you expect, you just have to listen. It sounds like you are open and ready to find out what that is for you! Good luck and happy SITS day!

  37. Everyone is awesome at something. Find what you’re awesome at and run with it. A true sense of accomplishment though…for me anyway…would be knowing that I don’t have to accomplish anything outside of my family because if my kids grow up to become productive members of society and I do my best to keep my family happy I’ve done what I can. I struggle with this too from time to time.

  38. I think the volunteering suggestion was wonderful for you. I know every PTA I’ve ever been involved in has PLENTY to do. Of course, yours are not quite there yet but will be soon. Good luck. I think many of us go through this – I can tell I am way older and am going through it now. I am trying to follow my bliss and just DO IT. Happy SITS!

  39. You are awesome! You have passion and that is what it takes to make it out there.

    Just breathe and think about what you would tell your daughter if she was asking you these same questions.

    We don’t need to have all that we want but we can get everything we need.

  40. I’m jumping into this post a little late. The advice offered above seems to be a good starting point. I am wondering if any of it helped you in the past few months. I’d love to know!

  41. I totally feel you…but no good advice. I’m going to read your other comments today though…I might get some good tips!

  42. Well I am a folk artist and crafter myself so that is my niche. I guess you need to ask yourself what you are good at. You say you are organized. Could you be a personal assistant or home organizer?
    Are you crafty or artistic? Do you have computer skills that might earn you some money? Good luck!
    Visiting from SITS

  43. You are on the right path. It is still dawn, but soon the sun will shine full and bright and you’ll know where you are going.

  44. When I was pregnant with my daughter and getting ready to leave teaching to be a stay-at-home mom, I felt many of the feelings you do. My husband encouraged me to start my own business, something I could do from home with hours flexible enough for me to also be a mom– a job I was very much looking forward to. We had business meetings each month, came up with a business plan, bought a domain name, everything just short of becoming incorporated. Then I had my daughter, and long story short the delivery was awful and she ended up in the hospital for months and I became a stay-at-home nurse/mom.

    I am so happy I was able to be home for all that, and kissed away our business idea until we were ready to focus on it again. That’s when all that pent up creativity came bubbling to the surface and I needed to do something, so I started my blog. All those ideas are being put to use again, just in a different way.

    As for guidance, I don’t have much but I know I enjoyed a class I took at a local adult education foundation (Main Line School Night) on starting a small business. I got many resources for getting started, and they even told me about an organization of business people that mentors new business owners FOR FREE. It might be an idea for channeling that energy into a business for you. Obviously you have the smarts, the drive, and the talent– just from looking at your blog for a minute I realized it was one I needed to follow!

    Good luck! I hope you’ll stop by my blog sometime:

    Happy SITS-day, by the way!

  45. Well when you find out the answer let us know, but I don’t think there really is one. I think listening to your heart and your gut is what will take you on your journey. Find what you love, do what makes you happy and don’t let anyone take it away from you! Happiness is one of lifes most sacred emotions I think. Too often we try so hard to allow others to feel it that we forget ourselves. It sounds like you are on the right track here 🙂 Good Luck!

  46. I think the best advice was given by Don Shapiro. 🙂

    I had children at a very young age and started several years into the adventure to get some of the old me back. Sometimes it takes doing things that makes you feel selfish. Moms don’t think it is OK to fucus on themselves. They believe their role t is to give every piece of themselves to everyone else. But, if you don’t do you, you will run out of you to give. You are a great writer. That might be an area to explore. Best of luck in your journey. I think most moms go through it.

  47. Hi, stopping by from SITS. Happy SITS day. And when you find that one perfect answer will you pass it on to me! All I can think is while a million doors are closing – there is one window always left open. Must find it…

  48. I think finding your passion is the key to a happy life. I recommend finding a book and there are several to help you think. I have a passion for dancing, sports, and writing and have done all three most of my life to give me a sense of me. Not as a wife, child, or mother but as my own person. Which helps me contribute to the lives of those around me better and more fully.

    Happy SITS day.

  49. CIC, not ADD–Creative Intelligence Cycle–I LOVE this! I think I have it, too! I do start projects and crafts and get creative and then sometimes lose interest, but I think you should consider some of the arts, because as your blog can attest, you obviously ARE very creative!

  50. I don’t have an answer for you but hope you recieve what you are looking for.

    I also have a creative side and want to make my create side into something more. I also don’t know where to begin and how to be successful and that is hold me back.

  51. I think many of us find ourselves at similar crossroads.

    The only thing I can think of, is what my grandparents and my father always asked of me – “What do you love?” What is in your heart of hearts and if you can make it happen then so much the better. Few people in this life are doing what they “love”.
    Find your passion, find that thing that really makes you tick and run with it, find the counsel, the guidance, those that may have gone before you in the field of your choice – ask them questions, read their bio’s, their books, soak it in and make it happen (which I have no doubt as given by your description you can do that and more).
    Ask yourself – What DO I Love? What makes ME Tick?

    Happy SITS Day

  52. I agree with some of the earlier comments. I think you should take the pressure off of “defining” what exactly you are going to do outside the family for you to be proud of. If you don’t know, and you are asking the online world for help, you definitely are not ready to be defining anything…yet. I agree with outlining things you love/hate/wish to do/deal breakers/ect. Then I would suggest a volunteer organization and seeing what projects you can get involved in that strike your interest. Contact United Way, and they might be able to match you the opportunity with the ‘job’. After you start working outside the home (or where ever they want you to work), I feel that will open doors you didn’t know you had. At least it will be something you can do and be PROUD of in the meantime while you are trying to discover something new on your life. Also, in the meantime, you can WRITE about it, meaning incorporating something you love doing, in the the MANNER you love doing it (most jobs who require you to write are NOT in the way you want, nor about what you want, so I can’t say blindly ‘find a job you can write with’). Maybe an opportunity will arise that *clicks* or something else inside you *clicks* in the meantime. Woman are capable of doing EVERYTHING, and when something like this is lacking, we have a need to conquer it, and rightfully so. The reality is, no matter how great we have it in our family lives, we need to be able to survive in the real world if something falls through, maybe not so much to prepare for whats coming, but to ABLE to. You have to be able to support yourself and be happy doing it, as so many single moms will tell you. You have to be HAPPY with YOU first, then spouse and kids come second, as you will be a better mom and wife when you are fully content and excited about YOU!


  53. At the moment…my blog is my outside of this house thing that rejuvenates me. I have a plethora of interests that I never have the time to focus on but I do them in small chunks of time.

    I suppose if I were in your shoes and seeking direction I would figure out what my goal is and create the steps in reverse to get there. You have to start somewhere to get where you want to go.

    Good Luck!

  54. Wow. Good for you for continuing to grow and wanting to learn.

    I can’t be much help. I am a goat.
    Happy SITS day.

  55. Tree hugging hippy answer here – look within.
    You already have all your answers.

  56. Once your toddlers are in school, it will be so much easier for you to make that change without any guilt (if that is a problem for you). As a single mom, I have had to work most of my girl’s lives (I divorced when they were 8 & 2. They are now 19 & 13). Now I am also going back to school so I can choose a better paying field. Maybe some night classes is a good start for you.

  57. I was always a work outside of the home mom, corporate jobs, legal businesses, 9 to 5 (though it was more often 8 to 8) but now I’m retired and “domestic” – I’m not fond of housework, but I love to garden, I love my outdoor critters (the birds, the squirrels, the turtles), I love to cook & bake and I even have a food blog now! Here’s my best advice. Find your PASSION. After 35 years in the work force, that’s really the ONLY thing that matters. It’s not the money – very often the most rewarding things in life are the ones that come from volunteer opportunities – it’s doing something that you absolutely LOVE and would do for free if you could.

  58. I Love CIC! (did you make that up yourself?)

    I would also consider myself afflicted with CIC! (LOL)!!!

    Thanks for being real, here!

    As for help…this is not just some hype about my site…but I truly believe I have a lot of useful info on my website. http://www.reallyworkingfromhome.com

    You obviously have writing talent! Have you considered getting published? I’m not sure where your beliefs lie, but my site is geared for the Christian writer. However, there are so many great tips for everyone.

    Hope you’ll check it out…and be inspired!


  59. Wow…reading the other comments here! How crazy that 2 “MariLee’s” posted on your blog today. Although the other “marilee” is spelled different, I have only met 2 people in my life with my same name.

    P.S….I am also “Mom coach”….so let me know if I can help in any way. more info about that on my site!

  60. Sounds like a lot of smart ladies got here with tons of great advice already so I will simply wish you the best of luck and congrats on your SITS day!

  61. Hi & happy SITS day!
    I love the entry above & can commiserate. I’m in much the same place, though I am not a stay at home mom. I would love for my creativity & passion to be making me enough money to stay at home, but as it is, sometimes I feel like I’m getting nowhere. I have a job, as well, but after having been downsized from a company that I cared about, the jobs that I’ve been able to get are not great matches for my ‘gifts.’ I like the advice that Don Shapiro gave & I think that this may be quite helpful. Maybe I’ve just been too impatient, not letting things work out before giving up (not finding the right job or waiting for my creative endeavors to pan out.) Things don’t always work out right away. I hope that some of the advice given above helps you out. I wish I had an answer for you, I’m still working things out myself. A lot of the advice above seems helpful.
    Thanks for your well written entry!

  62. You know what you are and what you are not. Sounds like a good start to me!

  63. I have a way that you can have your own business, set your own hours, have unlimited income (with the work!), and still have the support of a large corporation. Meaning, you have no overhead cost.

    Email me for more information. It can change your life.

  64. Hi there! Found you on SITS! I can so relate to this! As a mom who homeschools 1/2 the week it is easy for me to feel that I do so much for everyone else and never get fulfilled myself. I am tempted to think this way often. I think it is important to remember that when you are raising kids there is a sacrifice involved, and it usually lasts many years as they grow. This is not a bad thing but a great thing. Your children will thank you one day and in the meantime maybe you can find enjoyment in things like blogging, maybe taking classes at a college to better your knowledge and sharing your gifts with others. I hope you find what you are looking for and find contentment and peace in the everyday things. I can’t wait to read more about how you are doing!

  65. I am in the same exact boat right now!

    Turned 40 this year, oldest is in high school and youngest is starting preschool.

    Stopping by from SITS

  66. 1st – Happy SITS day!!! Congrats on being FB!!

    2nd – You are not alone in feeling like this. I too am trying to figure out what to do to bring that completeness to that part of my life, have become a FT SAHM 2 months ago, before that several PT jobs – but I missed being away from my little one – definitely once she and the future kids are in school I will commit myself to something.

    I think the Life Coach idea sounds great that previous people have mentioned.

  67. I’ve found that the best person to ask advice for on things like this is your husband. Surprisingly, they know things about you that you don’t notice. That’s how I discovered my dream to write a children’s novel. Through Husby.

  68. I don’t have any advice, but I think it was a great idea to blog about it. This post has obviously struck a chord with lots of women. 🙂

  69. I dont have any advice, having not figured it all out myself. But I heard some great advice from an older woman when I was pregnant with my first, she told me “You CAN have it all. Don’t let anyone tell you that you cant. But you cant have it ALL AT ONCE.”

    I think sometimes we forget that life is more than today, and that we will all go thru stages.

  70. Wow, thanks for your honesty! I just turned 30 this year and am single and at a really neat place in my life. But I was also realizing so many of the “dreams” I had for my life haven’t come true the way I wanted them to. I really do enjoy life and try to live to the fullest. One book that I read at just the right time is by an author/counselor Paula Rinehart. The book is called “Better than My Dreams ~ Finding what you long for where you might not think to look.” It has encouraged me and changed my perspective on alot of things. Instead of trying to make my own dreams come true I’ve started to ask God what His dreams are for me~ and I’m realizing that I’ve already been living those out and there is so much more to look forward to. Many blessings in your search!

  71. Look at the world around you. Everything that was ever created began as a thought. There is incredible power in your thoughts and desires. There is also great abundance in the Universe. Stay focused on your desires, find things to appreciate in your life each day and most importantly, try to stay happy wherever you are. This helps you stay pointing downstream in the fast moving current of life and keeps you quickly moving in the direction of all the dreams, goals and desires you have.

  72. hey there! stopped by via SITS but I understand the heart of this post completely. I am the founder of Mamapreneurs Inc (http://www.mamapreneursinc.com), and we’ve got a ton of resources, mentors, collaborative brainstorming, etc. within our organization. Not saying you should join, just letting you know you can email me if you want specific resources, or want to chat with anyone. I run a few businesses myself, started from emotions and passions and wants similar to what you posted above, and I can relate. We’re always growing and sounds like you’re on the right track by knowing yourself well! 🙂 Happy SITS day! So glad I found your blog!

  73. I believe you can have lots in life! I thrive on change too and like to have challenges. I have two girls (a newborn and a pre-schooler), work three days a week in a job and career I LOVE (I am on leave at moment) and supported a husband through a massive career change. He went into nursing and our salary dropped considerably from what he could be earning. But he’s happy!

    I lived overseas in UK for years and returned to my native Australia when my eldest was a baby. I would love to move again…I always advise people to go overseas but when you have kids it is hard. I’d love to do a year away with kids. That would be cool.

    You sound highly motivated and I likes the suggestion from someone else to try coaching. Or start to study what you are interested in. I love the book “What Color is my parachute”.

  74. Hi
    I am visiting from SITS. I am not a stay-at-home mom, in fact I’ve had to work several jobs AND go to college while trying to raise my kids as a single mom. All I can tell you is there will be times of doubt and times of determination (high tide & low tide) Once you find your true path and passion, NOTHING will deter you from it. I am now a published author/illustrator (with 2 kids, 3 step-kids, a cat ,a huge garden and a full-time job!)

  75. My Dear, you have done such an amazing job of expressing what so many women out there are going through or have gone through. It sounds and looks to me as tho you’re in process now of mastering the life you want to live. It’s not a ship that comes in, it’s the day-to-day life and the way in which you travel through it that makes it happen. You’re at the helm and on course for a full and beautiful life. Believe me, I’m old! Keri (Le Gourou de Sandwich) http://www.samwich365.com

  76. I love your post. It hit home with me and I imagine that it will hit home with lots of other women. But YOU had the courage to blog about it. You inspire me! Thank you!

  77. uh, me too. But not exactly. I continually look for something, even though I do have a career and have a 4 year degree.

    I just picked up a dvd of Eckhart Tolle and it seems that he says, just be.
    By being you will come into all that you are. I haven’t watched it yet. Just from reading the back cover. Forget the life coach, just be.

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