We’ve all seen the memes, tweets, quotes and more about the divorce rate rising at the end of this quarantine and couples breaking up. While you read them and may have a chuckle, there is likely some truth to it all. When was the last time you were essentially locked in the house with your partner. Whether you have been together for 1 year or 10, this quarantine can put a lot of pressure on your relationship. Instead of lying in bed at night wondering how your relationship will pan out in the end, I am sharing tips to ensure your relationship survives a quarantine.
Set expectations during a Quarantine
Life as we know it has changed. The schedule that worked for your household before may no longer work anymore. Take some time to talk with your partner about what a new schedule will look like in your house. Who will cook and clean up at after meals, how will bedtime work, how will you divide and conquer time with the kids at home, where will everyone be in the house during the day, how will “work hours” and “kids hours” be divided throughout the day? There are so many questions through this changing time that you will need to address to help minimize conflict due to uncertainty. Many couples will find themselves resenting each other for not pulling their weight. So, this can be avoided with good communication and appropriate expectations.
Make some time to be alone…just YOU during this Quarantine!
Like I said, I am sure it’s been a long time, or maybe the first time that you have ever had to spend 24/7 with your partner (other than a vacation that is….which this definitely is not!) Give yourself some “you” time everyday. We all need a few moments to ourselves whether it be to escape reality (an absolute must right now) with a good book, a magazine, a phone call to your girlfriend or a hot bath to name a few. Whatever it is that makes you happy, make sure that you make time for yourself each day. 5 minutes or an hour, you can find the time, and you need it! I have spoken to so many people who have felt like a different person after a walk or a hot bath.
Do something fun with your partner
F-U-N! We all need to have a little fun! Especially now! It doesn’t have to be daily, as it can be a challenge to find time between work and the kids, but try to do something fun with your partner at least once a week. I’m not referring to anything crazy, but it’s much easier to fall into a mundane schedule that you loathe than it is to plan something fun that you can look forward to with your partner. So, do something that’s just for the two of you.
What do you like to do? Some of the things at the top of my list include drinking a glass of wine together and talking, or how about some wine ice cream (easy recipe here)?? We also love enjoying a delicious dessert together once the kids are in bed, going for a walk and watching a show together. Knowing that we get to watch an episode or two of our current binge worthy show gets me through each day! Looking forward to something with your partner is essential and will encourage positive feelings towards your partner.
Put the time in to look and feel good…for you both
Remember when you used to get dressed up and went out on a date with your partner? When you got excited to have your partner look at you and say, “wow, you look amazing!”? I for one, miss those days, but they aren’t gone, they just take more work. While we put ourselves together to look and feel good, we also put ourselves together to spark something in our relationship. Right now, it is easier to sit in your pjs or sweatpants all day then it is to get dressed, believe me, I know especially when there is no where to go!
Surprise your partner with a date night at this chic restaurant called “The Kitchen”, LOL! Get yourselves all dolled up after the kids go to be, and either make a nice dinner or order in. Do something different, dress yourself up and make a night “out” at home. Talk about something other than the news and the craziness of the world we live in and just enjoy each other.
Communication is Key…Talk to your partner
It’s normal to experience feelings of frustration with your partner. If you take one thing away from this post, take away this: talk to your partner. Too often, we find ourselves sharing more with our friends than we do with our partner. We all need some girl talk, there is no question about that, but sometimes we cause ourselves more harm than good when we complain to our friends about our partners. At the end of the day, our friends aren’t the ones who can fix our relationship or any issues that may be brewing. Another point of view can be helpful, but make sure to talk to your partner directly to fix whatever may be brewing inside your home. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that good communication is essential to a healthy relationship.
Find the good in it all
There is no question that there is a lot of negatives in the new way of the world, but there isn’t only bad. There is lots of good, and it is up to you to find it. Remember the good, and focus on it. There are hidden blessings in every struggle and each of ours is different. So ask yourself, what is yours? Find it and make it count.
How are you ensuring your relationship survives this quarantine?
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