The loneliness of a stay at home mom

The loneliness of stay at home moms

In Family by Angela AmmanLeave a Comment

Being a mom is, to me, the most wonderful thing in the world. And I’m sure most moms say the same thing. I’m a mom because I wanted to be one. I wished my whole life for it, and I’m thankful every single minute for it. I have a family I adore and I wouldn’t change anything in it. Seriously! With all that said, I don’t considered being a mom a job. But I do, though, consider being a stay at home mom a big job and to tell you the truth, one of the most difficult jobs on the planet.

motherhood and loneliness

Appreciating the stay at home mom experience

Don’t get me wrong for saying this, but staying at home with kids can be a really lonely job. It seems like only the person who did it or does it, knows what I’m talking about. It’s a job that gets into your heart and makes you feel so lost sometimes. I find it hard to explain to another person unless he/she has been a stay at home parent. I really love it and I think it’s important for my son to have one of his parents present almost all the time. My mom stayed at home with us and so did my husband, so we really appreciate that. To tell you the truth, I never appreciated much what my mom did until I became one. But that’s another story! I actually never understood how hard it is.

Valuing and appreciating moms who work outside the home

I do want to make it clear that I do value moms that go to work outside of the home. Sometimes I get a little bit jealous that they get to get out of the house and do something else. What I mean is that when you stay home all the time with your kids, it can be extremely tiring and lonely.

Why staying at home with kids can feel a little lonely

You have to find a way to interact with a toddler and keep busy for basically 12 hours a day. You also feel constantly guilty because you’re always so tired. I miss having adult conversations that are not about kids. At the same time, you feel like you don’t know how to keep up a conversation for too long that isn’t about kids! I consider myself a person that is up to date with the main things happening around the world. I read a lot, and I have my own opinion and thoughts about many subjects that are not kids, but it scares me that I find myself talking about kids for hours! It’s what I feel comfortable with right now.

Trying to remember what we do is valuable

It’s a constant conflict in my head (and I know its in a lot of moms head out there) that we somehow lost our value. I know this seems crazy and we’re doing a wonderful job staying by home, but deep, deep inside we have this crazy conflict and we feel like we have no value to anyone else. Deep inside we think less of ourselves. Writing this seems confusing and stupid, because I do know I have a kid that needs me and values me. I have a husband that understands and supports me staying home with our son. So it’s stupid so write all this… but the feeling of loneliness and the feeling of being lost are there from time to time.

So my only advice if you’re staying home with your kid is to hang in there. You’re not alone! And if you’re not, next time you see a stay at home mom, give her a big hug and be sincerely appreciative of all she does. It’s not easy, and it’s not relaxing. It’s tiring and a little crazy. Still, I wouldn’t change for anything in the whole world.

If you stay at home with your kids, how do you combat loneliness?

Meet the Author | Angela Amman


Angela Amman is a short story and essay writer. Collecting her family's stories is a gift-in-progress for her daughter and son, and she blogs at Playing with Words, capturing the craziness and beauty that weave together to create something extraordinary. As the co-director of Listen To Your Mother Metro Detroit, Angela is thrilled to bring others' stories to the stage and to celebrate the magic of words, storytelling, and the courage to share that magic with an audience. When she should be sleeping, she works on her latest short story collection. Her writing has been featured on Mamalode, Peacock Journal, and Scary Mommy. Her personal essays and short stories have appeared in her collection, Nothing Goes Away, and various anthologies.

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