Yes this post is all about that 3-Letter word!!
Let’s be honest, keeping the spark and the passion for your spouse can be challenging at times and it can even feel like just another thing to check off your “To-Do -List” and that is not a good thing. So, I asked Allana Pratt aka The Sexy Mama, some intimate questions and she gave some pretty creative and flirty answers to help Moms feel sexy again!
1. What are your sexy mom secrets?Sexy is an attitude first. It’s focusing your awareness on your sensations, on your worth, on your inherent value and beauty as a woman EXACTLY as you are, with no attention on another’s opinion of you. It’s cutting off all external needs for validation and swimming the deliciousness of YOU. Just because you can.
2. What can moms do to get in the “mood” more often?
First ask WHY you want to get in the mood? Remember feeling sexy also means feeling secure, juicy, appreciated, celebrated, HOT and happening. We chose to focus on embracing our sexuality because it reminds us to let go, open, surrender, receive instead of pushing, controlling, keeping it together.
So to get in the mood more often make life an adventure of attending to your juiciness. Ask yourself, What would my luscious self like right now? Eat dinner by candle light with the kids, wear sexy lingerie even to the grocery store, take a hot bath while he does the dishes, a 3 minute barefoot walk in the grass before you pick up the kids, create a regular girl’s night with exotic dance class, simply shave, perfume and brush your teeth before going to bed.
3. How can we ignite that fire with our spouse again?
Praise is the first step. Praise mixed with touch even better. Search for things to acknowledge him for, opening the jar of peanut butter, taking out the garbage, just having nice biceps.
Try to remember that men love the FLAVORS of the feminine. Many of us get stuck on our ‘style’ of making out, making out. Are you comfy being coy yet nervous being nasty? Are you comfy being the glorious goddess yet unwilling to be the dork? Are you a lights out lover? Then be willing to do it with the lights on, bra on, heels on for a change! What turns him on is the Mystery of You! As you embrace a wider, deeper more delicious you, your confidence will soar and is THE sexiest turn on for a man.
4. Why is sex so important?Of course there are all the hormonal reasons that boost our happiness and release stress, yet there’s more. It’s the foundational place to be intimate, to show one another your deepest secrets, to reveal your deepest core to another, to let go of your edges and dissolve into Love Itself. It’s a way for us to grow, courageously ask for what we want, dive into the unknown, slow down and really be vulnerable, open, raw and radiant. The bottom line is that pleasure heals, receiving fills us up. After all, when mama’s happy, everybody’s happy.
5. Is there a magic sex # to try to achive each month? (realistic)As a single mom who just took the batteries out of my vibrator to make my computer mouse work… I am envious as I write this! Sex therapist’s I’ve interviewed say once a week. I disagree. I thrive with more. Sure there are crazy weeks and I don’t think having sex means you both have to orgasm to check it off the list. There are so many ways to be intimate. I night focused on her, a night focused him, a night of simply massage with no expectations of intercourse, a night of just cuddles, a night of no speaking, a night of talking fantasies, a quicky in the laundry room, a weekend away.
6. What can we do everyday to feel sexier?Showers? Praise your body as you slather on luscious soaps or glorious oils. Wear lingerie that makes you feel gorgeous. Shave. “Trim the hedges” as CoolMom Daphne says! Wear what makes YOU feel hot~ sunglasses, funky jewelry, great makeup, fabulous boots.
When you put on your makeup or check yourself out in a mirror running errands, flirt with yourself, “You hot sultry Diva.” Maybe sounds dorky but it’s better than the other voice that always complains about your butt. And lastly dance. Whether it’s while making lunches in the morning, getting dressed, in the car driving carpool, shake your bootie and let the music have its way with you.
7. What are the keys to a successful sex life?
Remember your WHY. Don’t make your why Fear based… so he won’t have an affair, go to strip clubs or porn sites. Make it Love based…because I love feeling delicious, being profoundly connected to my beloved, living life from the overflow, having a thriving marriage and flourishing family, for feeling sexier and more lusciously succulent every year of my life, because being at peace in my skin, more fully expressed in the bedroom translates into an unshakeable confidence with which to embrace the Mystery of Life.
Allana Pratt is the Author of both How To Be And Stay Sexy and The Missing Handbook to Motherhood, columnist for eHarmony and Sexy Mom Expert on CBS, TLC & FOX. Allana got pregnant the week after her mom died, was divorced within a year and hit rock bottom. Now she’s developed a proven system to ignite passion, pleasure and confidence in women from the boardroom to the bedroom. This Cum Laude graduate of Columbia University who’s a small town Canadian girl at heart, is a walking example of When Mama’s Happy, Everybody’s Happy!
Follow her on twitter @allanapratt
Comments
Fabulous article! I’ll definitely take these tips to heart. 🙂 My husband thanks you.
Hair. It’s all about the hair.
Great post. We need more reminders like this!
I LOLed at “just took the batteries out of my vibrator to make my computer mouse work” – ahh there’s something to be said for married life!:) Happy Valentines Day, y’all!