Stupid Sh*t I've Done While Pregnant

The end result of pregnancy brain is mom brain. That, and a beautiful baby and a well earned nap.

Y0u know how they say that every pregnancy is different? Well, that’s definitely true in my case. With my first son, I had morning sickness, but it was never as bad as it is now. I was tired then, but it’s nothing compared to the narcolepsy-esque qualities I exhibit today. I was a bit forgetful, but no where near as stupid as I feel right now.

Let’s talk about that for a moment. I think it’s called pregnancy brain, or mommy brain, or whatever. I never believed in it. I thought, how could one’s hormones be so out of whack as to make them act like a true idiot? I believe it all now, and I’m here to share my stupid list of sh*t I’ve done since pregnant. I’m blaming my hormones. I’m blaming the baby. I’ve still got five more months to go, and I hope the worst of it has passed. We’ll see. On with the list:

1. I met my friend at the wrong location for lunch, even though she reminded me several times not to go to the location I kept on mentioning over and over. I sat there for a while wondering why she was so late. It wasn’t her. It was me. I was late and at the wrong lunch spot. I suck.

2. In Los Angeles, you always have to pay for parking. I put my parking ticket into the pay meter and put my credit card into the cash slot by accident. The machine shook violently, then ate my card. I never got it back and I broke the whole machine. I left the scene as soon as possible.

3. While entertaining guests at my house, someone asked for a beer. I fetched it from the fridge, popped open the top with a bottle opener. I put the bottle cap back in the drawer and threw the bottle opener in the trash. I’m a winner. I didn’t even realize this until my friend started laughing.

4. While this one may not seem like a big deal, it is. I showed up for my doctor’s appoint on the wrong day. It wasn’t like a day early or a day late. It was the wrong week, the wrong month and the wrong time. The trifecta of wrong. I was so upset I cried on my way back to the car, then promptly went to buy myself a donut and drown my sorrows in sugar.

5. Today I made myself lunch and forgot that I had it on the stove. My house still reeks of burnt quesadilla. Better just stick with the microwave from now on.

6. I forgot to write this post last week. I was literally all curled up on the couch watching The Big Bang Theory, wondering how I could be having such a relaxing evening. I was totally oblivious to my forgetfulness. Turns out I did have something to do – and it was this post. We’ll it’s done now. Hope it’s the only thing I forgot to do!

Okay ladies, I’m feeling like I need adult supervision. Am I the only one who suffers from this type of pregnancy brain? Please help me feel more normal! Stat.

Meet the Author | Christina Montoya Fiedler

Christina Montoya Fiedler is a Los Angeles native - born and raised. Before becoming a mom, and writing for various parenting sites so she could be home full time with her son, she was a publicist representing environmentally progressive architects and contractors - one of whom just finished building a home completely out of parts from a Boeing 747. Now that's cool!